I recently realized I spend a lot of time focusing on the price of progress these days, rather than the pace. On the surface, there isn't much evidence of change yet, so the pace is frustrating. The price tends to be expensive! The opportunity cost is huge sometimes. So, in a way, it almost seems to validate the mundane, everyday things of life that get in the way of our fun. (I'm definitely not opposed to having fun, we're just in a necessary season of more to do around the house than usual. AKA playing catch-up!)
When focusing on the price of progress, we weigh options, and decide accordingly. Sometimes we choose to do the fun thing, and put off progress for some much-needed family time, or to enjoy that relative in town for the weekend. Most of the time in this season though, accomplishing our goal wins out, and we choose to exchange the potential fun for...work.
The same work we've been doing week in and week out for 3 years. We have 7 kids, and my husband travels. Obviously, I spend most of my day just doing normal household work. Cooking, cleaning, kid-care, homeschooling, and spending time "doing life" together. It's our spare time, the collective downtime that is spent on the kind of 'work' I referred to before. Purging. Organizing. Re-purposing. Seriously, that's it. It sounds so easy, but in practice it hasn't been. Our family keeps growing. Christmas and birthdays keep coming. We keep accumulating. So, I guess I should add "managing" to that list! Any way you look at it, it's a big job, and around here space comes at a premium, so it makes things trickier.
Last night, I looked around my sons' room as I tucked them in and felt a cloak of discouragement being lowered onto my head as I heard my enemy's voice whisper in my head, "You haven't made any progress at all. It's been 3 years, and things look just as bad as ever." Immediately, I wanted to cry, but in that same instant I shoved that cloak off and thought, "NO. True, it's not visibly evident today, but God has been building a FORTRESS of change inside my heart, inside my family, it's all on the inside. It's real, and it's valid, and it's mighty. I don't care what kind of mess is going on out here, the changes inside were built to last, and I refuse to believe only what is seen." It's amazing how easily we can fall for those stupid little voices if we're not careful to pay attention to what we're thinking.
Our memory verse this week is Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I really don't know what purpose God has for this season in our lives. We thought we'd have this project knocked out in a month, and here we are 3+years later. God's ways are above our ways, and I know I just need to keep on being faithful. I loved logging onto Facebook last night after that incident though, and seeing "God works according to the law of gradual growth, so don't be discouraged if your progress seems slow. It is better that things are slow and solid rather than fast and fragile. Trust God's timing and enjoy your journey."-Joyce Meyer Is that awesome timing, or what?!
This may seem like an odd post, but it's a part of the story of big changes God is doing in our family. I'm sure the other parts will come out in time, but right now this is where we are. The here and now is, God told us to get our finances, our health, and our belongings under control. In the past, we did a lot of things, and none of them well. Some we did very poorly even, depending on the seen to cover the unpleasant condition of the unseen. God spent some of the 3 years I referred to knocking down those old things, really even tearing out the foundation. He has poured a new foundation, and building has begun!
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